Category: Family

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The Battle for Status

My wife, Denise, and I are in the thick of a battle of sorts.

I want to win, and therefore, I need her to lose.

We are in a battle for “status.”

Let me explain…

I fly a lot. I’m in airplanes quite often. Perhaps it’s for denominational meetings, speaking engagements, vacation, or whatever. Simply put:  I fly a lot.

Denise, well, not so much. But when she does fly, she tends to fly longer distances, because her family lives primarily in the Midwest, and those miles add up quickly.

For many years I have been trying to achieve status on Alaska Airlines. It’s been an obsession of sorts. I like boarding earlier, having more seating options (ie: exit rows), and admittedly/shamefully, I take a small degree of delight in watching passengers scramble for overhead bin space, while I peacefully settle in with my AirPods and a magazine.

So, you can imagine my sheer horror when I recently discovered that Denise had gotten “status” before ME. She doesn’t even care about it. I CARE about IT a great deal! But she DOES enjoy rubbing it in my face, especially when they call out her premium grouping to board early, often accompanied with confetti, standing ovations, and a Dixieland band.

Meanwhile, a part of me dies inside.

All of this came to a significant head on our most recent flight to Mecca, I mean, Disneyland. Trips to Disneyland used to be for the kids, but now it’s for my wife. It’s not really my jam, but I go for her, because she loves all things Disney so much. It’s good for her soul. So you would think Denise would recognize my selfless sacrifice and not heap on the whole “status shame” any further.

But no.

When the flight attendant came down the isle with drinks and snacks, Denise let her know (in what I thought was a very loud voice) that she is one of Alaska’s finest, most preferred customers, and that one of the benefits accordingly bestowed upon her is that of a piece of premium chocolate.

I, on the other hand, humbly and quietly, made sure that the flight attendant was aware that we were together. Married. Husband and wife. The two became ONE. I mentioned that we share everything, including our airline status, and that should warrant a piece of chocolate for yours truly.

The flight attendant pulled out her corporate cellphone, clicked on the seating chart, and extended her thanks to Denise Fehlen as a preferred member of the Alaska Airlines family.

Then she actually said this:  “Denise, you are Gold. John, you are nothing.”

I kid you not.

Thankfully I had that tiny pretzel Snack Mix bag, and the deep understanding that I am a child of God.

You see, I am NOT nothing. Neither are you. It doesn’t matter what the flight attendant, or anyone else for that matter, says to you or about you.

You and I are fearfully and wonderfully made.

You and I are the apple of God’s eye.

You and I are seen, known and loved.

Our “status” is that of co-heir with Christ, seated in heavenly places.

All other status is, well, insignificant in comparison.

Period.

Any yet, I think you’ll be pleased to know (I know I was) that a few minutes later, the flight attendant came back down the isle, stopped at our row, and handed ME a premium piece of chocolate too. She said, and I quote: “Here you go, young man.”

She called me YOUNG.

Take that Denise. 🙂

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What I’m Into Right Now: Gin Gins & Pipe Tobacco Candles

Well, here begins a series of blog posts about What I’m Into Right Now. I’m excited to spotlight some great hobbies, products, habits, and experiences that I’m finding joy in, and love to tell people about!

Obviously, as a Christian and a pastor, I could tell you that I’m into JESUS, and yes, it’s true that I am. He’s a massively important part of my life. So is my wife Denise, my kids Jordan, Josh, Anna, and Issac. So are my daughter-in-laws Lindsey and Shannon, along with my two grandkids: Emmy and David. Those are givens. Never to be under-appreciated, but yet givens.

So, now onto ginger and tobacco scent. 🙂

But first, let’s talk about TJ Maxx. I don’t how I missed this store for so long, but I found it and now I can’t get enough of it. For two primary reasons:  Gin Gins and Warm Tobacco Pipe Candles.

 

The Ginger People Gin Gins Original Chewy Ginger Candy 3 Oz (pack of 2)

I don’t go anywhere without a handful of these. I’ve got ’em in my backpack, office, car and home study. They are especially helpful when I fly. And I fly a lot. Ginger is good for “tummy strugs.”  When I fly, or am on a boat, I have to pay close attention to this. I’ve never had to use an airplane sickness bag, but I always have to know that it is within reach. Always. It’s the first thing I look for when boarding a flight, and I always put in front of the in-flight magazines with the little flap hanging out. It has to be visible. And I always make sure I have a stash of Gin Gins in my pocket. I love em:  gluten free, vegan, fat free, and no artificial colors, flavors or preservatives. One note though: they can be spicy hot. It’s ginger, people. If you don’t like the taste of ginger, you probably won’t like Gin Gins. But, boy, I sure do.

 

Decoware Richly Scented Warm Tobacco Pipe 2-Wick Candle 14.82 Oz. In Glass

While attending a graduation party at some friends home, I was immediately struck by the scent throughout the house. Not in a bad way (which can sometimes be the case with certain scents). They showed me the burning candle, and the stash of extra ones they had in waiting. I was now on a mission to find that candle.

Enter TJ Maxx.

I bought a couple of them, and now each time I’m there I pick up another one “just in case.” I have a problem, I know. But it’s a good problem. It’s a good scent. I know it doesn’t sound like “warm tobacco pipe” would be a good smell. I was especially worried about my wife, who can’t stand the smell of any kind of tobacco. But, she likes this. Whew. Good, because I have roughly 12 of them. 🙂

 

Well, that’s What I’m Into Right Now. More to come. Stay tuned.

 

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What I’m Into Right Now

Hey Friends,

Periodically I get a request from folks about “what I’m into right now.” Such as, “Hey John, I know you read a bunch. So what’s your favorite book right now.” Or, “Hey John, you’re always talking about Ramen Noodles. What’s the best place in Portland?”

So, I’m gonna start a series of blog posts called “What I’m Into Right Now.”

First, you need to know that I’m a guy that gets into things for a while then moves on to something else when I get bored or discover something new. Call it “Rotating Hobbies!” I’ll blog about some of those things from my recent past, as well as what I’m into now.

My hope would be that you would get inspired, try some stuff out, explore, experiment and see what happens. You may find something you love or you may think I’m crazy (i.e.: charcoal toothpaste…blog post coming soon!). Feel free to click on any of the links I’m providing in the blog post and give it try!

I have a motto (actually a bunch of them, but this is one I’m crazy about now)… Leaders are Learners.

So, here’s to learning!

Grace and Peace,

John

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Flee • Follow • Fight

The Apostle Paul wrote his letters to Timothy during the latter years of his life. His clear and compelling mission was to “finish strong,” which included passing the baton of leadership to the emerging generation. The wisdom he imparted to his young protege Timothy I believe is essential for every person that desires to be known as a “Man (or Woman) of God.”

But you, Timothy, man of God, run from all these evil things, and follow what is right and good. Pursue a godly life, along with faith, love, perseverance, and gentleness. Fight the good fight for what we believe. Hold tightly to the eternal life that God has given you, which you have confessed so well before many witnesses. 1 Timothy 6:11,12

FLEE
In other words, the Apostle Paul is saying: run fast and far! Don’t hang around with anything or anyone that would compromise your walk with Jesus. In the text surrounding this passage we can see examples of what Timothy, and the rest of us, are to flee from:

  • false doctrines
  • constant friction
  • foolish desires

These are the kinds of things that simply will not get you where you want to go. They will keep you from an effective and fruit-filled Christian journey. Flee in the same way that Joseph ran away from Potipher’s wife in the Book of Genesis. His future was shaped by his fortitude and determination in the challenges that were presented. Paul reiterates in his second letter to Timothy by saying: “Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace…” (2:22).

FOLLOW
It’s simply not enough to just run away. We must now run towards God! Pursue, or follow, after that which will fill you up spiritually.

The text tells us to pursue:

  • Righteousness (what is right and good)
  • Godliness (the realities of a Godly life)
  • Faith (trust and dependence upon the Lord)
  • Love (the most powerful mark of a Christian)
  • Endurance (perseverance)
  • Gentleness (the heart of God expressed)

The test of human character is in the making of critical choices such as these. God wants to construct a character in us based upon the truth of His Word and upon righteous traits. We must consistently keep “choosing wisely” and following hard after God.

Your challenge will not be separating out the good from the bad,
but in grabbing the best out of all the possible good.
Gordon MacDonald in Ordering Your Private World

FIGHT
Paul uses imagery such as that of “straining, pressing on, and fighting” often. This is an important reminder that the Christian journey is not a “cakewalk.” It is, rather, a battle of biblical proportions! The fight between sin and the flesh is huge, and it affects every follower of Jesus regardless of age or stature.

We are called to run away from sin (FLEE) then to pursue the things of God with all our hearts (FOLLOW). In this adventure expect a challenge (FIGHT) in your soul, understanding that it won’t be easy, and cannot be avoided.

Face it head on. Don’t be apathetic or indifferent.

Men, in particular, can be associated with spiritual passivity and detachment, but I believe there is MORE in the heart of men. We were made for the fight! I love how John Eldridge, in his book Wild at Heart, puts it: “Men need a battle to fight, a beauty to rescue, and an adventure to live.”

Let’s take up the Apostle Paul’s challenge to Timothy as our own. Let’s take hold of the life we were meant to live!

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Summer of Sabbatical

I have been given the gift of a pastoral sabbatical this summer. For this I am extremely grateful. My sabbatical will last a little over nine weeks and begin on July 1.

What is a sabbatical? It’s a good question, not least because ‘sabbath’ is a lost practice in our day. We all get vacations and “time off,” but a sabbath is something altogether different. Sabbath is a time to stop, to rest, to delight, to play, and to be renewed by the Creator and Sustainer of all things.

A sabbatical is meant to be an extended sabbath. Some may wonder if there is any sin, frustration with the church, or desire to move on to another ministry assignment. The answer is no. Some have asked if I am taking this time to focus on my doctoral work, or to write a book. The answer is no. I had considered starting my doctorate soon, but opted to wait until another season, and I have had a couple of book ideas on my mind, but don’t feel like the time is right to develop those yet. Although I will be reading and journaling…a lot. The point is to have an extended sabbath—a holy space to rest and be renewed.

For pastors, the practice of a sabbatical becomes particularly important because of the role we carry in the church. The weight of spiritual leadership is hard to explain or quantify, and yet it can take a very tangible toll on a leader’s soul. Many leaders don’t stop because they don’t feel that they can for fear that the church may fall apart without them. But I believe that Jesus is the Head of the Church! I think you agree.

Jesus withdrew in silence and solitude, even when the crowds were pressing in. Therefore, it’s important that pastors do that too. A sabbatical obviously is no substitute for regular rhythms of rest and renewal. And yet, our church council was so gracious to give me something extra, something longer, something special as a gift. This gift is really the gift of time. Thank you.

So, what will Denise and I do on my sabbatical?
We have intentionally crafted the weeks to make space for rest, recreation and renewal. There will be times for just Denise and I to be together, as well as fun memory-making adventures with the kids, cherished moments with family and friends, as well as some solitary blocks of time with just me and Jesus.

During this summer, we will be commemorating a number of milestones:
• My 45th birthday
• My 25th year as a licensed Foursquare pastor
• My 7th year as the lead pastor of West Salem Foursquare Church
and finally (and most amazingly)…
• Our 25th year of marriage (the result of the grace of God and a good lady)!

So, we’re gonna do some wonderful things, but there are also things we will NOT do. For my sabbatical, the things I will deliberately cease from are:

• Facebook, Twitter and Instagram (checking and posting)
• Email (all my addresses are being forwarded to my assistant)
• My phone (I’m shutting it off often, using it sparingly and not for business)
• Content-creation (no sermon writing, blogging, planning, etc)
• Speaking at any churches, camps or conferences

The things I will intentionally delight in are: family (including our sweet grandbaby), friends, reading (lots of fiction, mostly soul care books and a few theological ones), walking, working out, riding bike (I just bought a bike and am excited to start riding it…gotta get ready for the new bridge to Minto Brown park!), and watching The Olympics (The Fehlens really love watching the Olympics together!).

What about West Salem Foursquare Church?
Well, as you know we have an amazing team of staff, elders and servant-leaders! Our Navigational Team will continue to oversee our staff and day-to-day operations. Each Sunday service will have great communicators sharing the Word of God. Along with our staff, we have a number of incredible friends and partners in ministry that will be joining us throughout the summer.

Sunday, June 26th, will be my last Sunday before the sabbatical. I will be back in the pulpit on September 11th.

Pray for us. Pray that the Lord would surprise us with joy in beautiful ways, and that our hearts would be drawn closer to Him and to one another as family during this time.

The Best is Yet to Come,

John

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Ride On…Q&A with Joseph Fehlen (Part 2)

josephfehlen-cover-thmbJoe is my brother (and he’s not heavy). Recently I had a Q&A with my brother about his book “Ride On: A Motorcycle Journey to Awake your Soul and  Rediscover it’s Maker.” It’s available on Amazon: As well, you can purchase his book at his blog (www.agrowingfamily.com), or at West Salem Foursquare Church on the weekend of July 6/7.

 

This is part 2 of a Q&A with Joe.  Enjoy.

 

JOHN:   I feel in Ride On you left me with a cliffhanger. I was wondering if you would ever come back? Are you working on a sequel? 

 

JOSEPH: Yes, I do come home but I just take the long way! I got ideas in the works for two other books. One called, Rebuild: When your life and your bike seem beyond repair.  I am rebuilding a 1974 Honda CB360 that was my father in law’s bike back in the 70’s. He sold it in the early 80’s and two winters ago we found it buried in several feet of pine needles and with a five-foot pine tree growing up through the frame.

It is now in my garage and we are trying to get it restored…but I don’t know what I am doing. Which makes a great premise for a book. I got some ideas for a third one but don’t want to get too far ahead of myself because I am currently writing one about hunting.

 

JOHN: Hunting book? You don’t know anything about hunting.

 

JOSEPH: Yes, that’s correct. Another hobby I took up in earnest in my late 30’s and I am fumbling through it.  I am tracking along and hope to have it ready to go to the editor early 2014. My working title is, Nine Arrows: A Hunters life of patience, practice, perseverance and utter failure.  It has been really fun to write and I hope it will be an encouragement to others that are thinking about quitting.

 

JOHN: Wow that is great… One last question.  Many in my church make fun of me for riding a Vespa. When you come out here would you ride with me on a Vespa to let them know they are cool also? 

 

JOSEPH: I almost purchased a scooter instead of the motorcycle and have a chapter about that dilemma. Because my motorcycle is not huge, and not a Harley, I have a lot of love for any two wheeled vehicle. All of what I talk about in Ride On is applicable to scooter riders as well as those that peddle around on two wheels. So, yes, I would be proud to ride with you on a scooter.

I will, however, not wave to you when I am on a motorcycle and you pass me on your scooter. That is reserved for those on real motorcycles.

 

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Ride On…Q&A with Joseph Fehlen (Part 1)

josephfehlen-cover-thmbI have one brother.

I call him Joe.

But now that he’s kind of a big deal author, he likes to be called “Joseph.”

I refuse.

Joe currently is the associate pastor at Grace Foursquare Church in Rhinelander, Wisconsin.

Recently Joe wrote a book called “Ride On: A Motorcycle Journey to Awake your Soul and  Rediscover it’s Maker.” It’s available on Amazon: As well, you can purchase his book at his blog (www.agrowingfamily.com), or at West Salem Foursquare Church on the weekend of July 6/7.

 

I want to introduce you to Joe and his writings through this two-part Q&A. Enjoy…

 

JOHN:  As your brother, I know that you know nothing about mechanical things and you are not a gear head. What inspired you to write a book about motorcycles?

 

JOSEPH:  Yes, you are so true. The first thing you need to know is that Ride On is not a handbook on motorcycles maintenance, a travel book or an ‘I survived the Hell’s Angels’ memoir (I can neither confirm nor deny that I was a mole in a hard core gang). There are great reads out there on those topics.

Ride On is my story, which I tried to write in a fairly whimsical manner, yet straightforward story-telling mode, that explores my entrance into the motorcycle community and what I learned about life, faith and things that really matter. I was new to the community, in my mid thirties, and my eyes were aware of things that many may had forgotten after years of riding. Many had forgotten how and why they began riding.

It was at that point that I started to make these links between Jesus and motorcycles. The motorcycle became my vehicle to share the person of Jesus to others and give them tools to share Him with their friends. There were so many links that seemed obvious to me, but as I communicated them verbally to others they seemed to miss them. I knew at that point that I needed to write this book.

It was the bikers that followed Jesus that inspired me to get this on paper and ultimately to this point of a published book. They were asking me to help them share their faith in a real way to a community of people that many had pushed aside. So I immersed myself into the world and community of motorcyclist and kept my spiritual ears up for truths that could help them in their faith walk.

 

JOHN: What is the main point about the Christian faith you hope people would get from Ride On?

 

JOSEPH: I wanted to reintroduce (or introduce) people to a person named Jesus that we read about in the Bible. The problem is that for 2000 years we’ve added so much to Him and what He is about. I want to strip it back to the simplicity of who he is, what he did and what he said. Jesus is not some unattainable philosophy or a person that we have to completely figure out before we accept Him. He walked this earth telling people about His father and what life in this world is and should be like. He spoke in stories that had both practical and spiritual implications. So everyone that heard got something that could help them… and that is what I tried to do in Ride On.

You will notice in my writing I don’t have any direct quotes or indented scripture references. When I reference Jesus, He is just a continuation of the story I am telling. He is part of my story and I think He can be part of other’s stories as well. I endeavored to share about Him in a natural way because most people, when talking to their friends, don’t recite Scripture. No, we just tell the story of what Jesus did and what He is doing in our lives today. [I do have endnotes if people want to look further into what I am saying.]

So I guess the main point is… Jesus. Not religion, not rules, not your grandma’s church, but Jesus. He is the one wire we need to hook into to get our life on (or back on) track.

 

Be watching for Part 2 of this Q&A coming soon.

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Jesus Did It. Shouldn’t We?

“At daybreak Jesus went out to a solitary place…” Luke 4:42

“Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:16

“One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God.” Luke 6:12

Jesus knew how to take timely breaks to replenish his soul. He was the master at balance. He purposefully took time off, not based upon the calendar but for the condition of his soul.

From the above passages in the Book of Luke I see a pattern of health for the Christian believer.

Withdraw…in Preparation for…in the Process of…and Prior to!

First, notice the context in which Jesus withdrew in preparation for ministry to people (Luke 4:42).  This happened to be a time when his popularity was growing and his name was catching on. People wanted to be around Jesus – therefore he knew the value of first being with his Father.

Secondly, see how Jesus got away in the process of intense ministry (Luke 5:16).  Crowds, sick people, and draining ministry situations are all reasons to step back and quietly connect with God.  What are the pressing issues that you are facing right now?  Before going any further – go be with God! It will make all the difference.

Lastly:  Jesus took extra time with his Father prior to making a large decision (Luke 6:12).  Before he chose the twelve disciples he went away for an extended time to get the “mind of God” on that significant issue.  He ended up spending the entire night in prayer.  Do you have a large decision to make?  If so, follow the model of Jesus by getting away to pray prior to making that decision.

I encourage you to take some time to carve out a solitary place with the Lord.  It is a great way to prepare you for a season of ministry or hard work to come in the future. If you’ve been in the middle of a trying time, then perhaps a time away to pray and be refreshed is in order. Or maybe you have a large decision that needs to be made and you need wisdom from the Lord…find a solitary place to get his heart for your next steps.

Jesus did it. Shouldn’t we?

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Kick Me

Do you remember those crazy kick-me signs. Perhaps you were the bully that  put them on other people’s backs unaware. Worse yet, like myself, you may have be the recipient of one of those not-so-gentle reminders. (I’m not bitter or anything)!

The Bibles says this in Hebrews 10:24-25: “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

Have you ever noticed how much Jesus hangs out with people? As I read through the Gospels, I’ve been struck with the value Jesus places upon significant relationships.

Simply being together.

Oh sure, he needed to get away once in a while like all of us do, but for the most part those were brief times of prayer and rejuvenation with the Father. Even the Son of God found it valuable to ‘steal away’ to a secret place, but those times were brief and served as ‘fuel’ for the journey of relationship.

Don’t we tend to function just the opposite? Heavy on the isolation and light on the fellowship?

Dear ones, Christian community is not forged by osmosis! It doesn’t just happen, but rather, it is harvested. One must tend and nurture relationships for them to be healthy. Before Jesus ever performed any miracles, his first desire was to get a group of guys around him.

Relationships before responsibilities.

People before programs.

Jesus didn’t die for an organization, he laid his life down for his friends and family.

Do you have friends and family…really? Or are you living in isolation? That’s not God’s purpose for you.

So…who are you spurring on to love and good deeds?

Next question is: Who is doing that for you?

We all need a “kick-me” every once and a while!